Hang In There Goose
by Red Witch
Summary: Life just keeps getting weirder for Shane Gooseman and it's starting to take it's toll on him. And his apartment.


**Goose sort of broke the disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters. Just some more fun Goose torture after Tangled Web. **

**Hang In There Goose**

"I still think it's stupid that I can't see Darkstar before our wedding tomorrow," Stingray grumbled as he followed Shane to his apartment with Doc, Billy, Noah and Ryder. "Dumb stupid tradition!"

"Think of it as a sleepover," Doc quipped. "We can't have a real bachelor party so we'll do some male bonding by watching the sports channel and eating. Too bad Zachery couldn't get out of working on paperwork and his son had some project he needed to do."

"I don't buy that excuse for a minute," Noah grumbled. "I think they just wanted to get away from us for the night."

"Come on Noah, what could they possibly be trying to get away from?" Billy asked as Shane opened his apartment door.

"SURPRISE!"

"PWWWEEEEEEEEEEEP!"

"Uh maybe this?" Noah asked as several pink one eyed birds flew around the apartment. There was also toilet paper everywhere and scattered bits of donuts on the floor.

"Like the place?" Bubblehead chirped. "I did the decorations myself!"

"Pwweeep!"

"Okay the kids helped," Bubblehead said.

"What are **they** doing here?" Shane barked. "They're supposed to be at Longshot!"

"We all wanted to come over for the party! So I sent the girls over to where the girls are going to have their sleepover and kept the boys here!" Bubblehead chirped as he landed on Shane's head. "At least I think these are all boys. Oh well. As long as everybody has Pweeps it's all good!"

"So there are Pweeps at Eliza's too huh?" Doc sighed as some Pweeps landed on his head. "At least the pain is being spread around."

"I knew there was a reason both Zachs wanted to get out of this," Shane grumbled. "And I can't say I blame them."

"What are they **eating?**" Ryder asked as some Pweeps were eating something.

"They like donuts," Bubblehead said. "Especially cinnamon ones."

"How did they get here?" Billy asked.

"One thing I learned from Bubblehead, it's best to never ask questions," Shane groaned.

"Pwweeep?" One of the birds sat on Stingray's head.

"I have a question. Is this a normal night at BETA?" Stingray asked.

"Define 'normal'," Doc sighed.

"They are kind of cute," Billy petted one on his shoulder.

"They're weird is what they are," Ryder said. "But something about their chirps is strangely…soothing."

"Sure why not just keep a whole **flock** of alien birds in my apartment?" Shane snapped.

"You don't sound too happy," Bubblehead was still on Shane's head.

"Happy?" Shane glared at the bird. "_Happy_? Do you have any idea what I have been through this past year? No, never mind this past year…This past freaking **month?**"

"Uh…Could you remind me?" Bubblehead tried to remember.

Shane took a deep breath. "I find out that my first crush, the first girl I ever fell in love with is not only pregnant but my **sister!** My so called healing gift I just learned has some lousy side effects for Supertroopers. Several people tried to kill me for various reasons…no surprises there. I had to run around like a maniac and try to protect my family members from getting killed or turned into experiments only to have them nearly get killed because of me. I turned out to be the center of a prophecy about causing a civil war on Earth which came true when I actually **caused** a civil war on Earth! I also learned that I was the real cause of the disaster of Wolf Den! One of my friends who I thought died came back to life and then died for **real** saving me and all of BETA Mountain. And to top it all off, Commander Walsh, the man I admired and respected all my life turned out to be lying to me all my life and is my **father!** Or one of my fathers anyway!"

"Don't forget turning into a girl," Doc said.

"Goose did **what**?" Billy blinked.

"Thank you Doc for informing everyone in this room of that embarrassing incident of a plan that **backfired** big time!" Shane snapped as he shoved Bubblehead off his head. "And now…Now I have to lead a family of Supertroopers and teach them how to be human when I still don't have a clue how to be human myself! What else can happen to me?"

That was when a small dimensional portal opened up and a small familiar fleet of alien ships popped out. "Oh **goody!** The _Zarthgons_ are **back!"** Shane said sarcastically. "Just what I need! A **perfect** end to a **perfect** day! Just freaking **perfect!"**

"The who?" Noah asked.

"Alien life forms from another dimension who keep trying to steal Gooseman's silverware to use in their conquest to dominate all the universes in existence," Doc explained as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

"You _serious?"_ Stingray looked at him.

"Insignificant alien scum! Prepare to hand over all of your forks and spoons!" The lead Zarthgon ship boomed. "And any metal soup ladles you have lying around."

"I'm afraid so," Doc sighed. "Don't worry. Usually Bubblehead takes care of them."

"Goose when you said your life was harder than mine a while ago, I didn't really believe you," Stingray blinked. "I do now."

"Okay," Shane closed his eyes. "I have **had **it!"

"Uh oh," Bubblehead blinked. "This won't be good."

"All right! I don't know what demented being or whim of fate is giving me all this **crap** in my life, but you know what? I'M STILL STANDING!" Shane roared to the sky. "YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE! YOU HAVE THROWN EVERY SINGLE KIND OF STUPID PROBLEM AND EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF TO MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL AND I'M STILL HERE! YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET THE BEST OF ME! YOU HEAR ME?"

"Uh I think everyone in BETA can hear you Shane," Billy winced.

"I HAVE DONE IT ALL, LIVED THROUGH IT ALL AND SURVIVED IT ALL!" Shane roared waving his arms in defiance. "AND YOU KNOW WHAT? NOTHING HAS STOPPED ME! NOT SUPERTROOPERS, OR EVIL SENATORS OR OUTLAWS OR DIMENSIONAL MONSTERS OR DEMONS OR EVEN THE QUEEN OF THE FREAKING CROWN! YOU NAME IT! I SURVIVED IT! AND I'LL KEEP ON SURVIVING! SO COME ON UNIVERSE! GIVE ME YOUR BEST SHOT! I CAN TAKE IT!"

Just then another dimensional wormhole opened. And another small alien fleet appeared. "WRETCHED ZARTHGONS! PREPARE TO BE OBLITERATED!" An annoying voice boomed from the lead ship. "THE ALPHGONS EMPIRE CLAIMS THIS DIMENSION AND YOUR LIVES! NOT TO MENTION ANY FORKS LYING AROUND."

"NEVER! BURN IN THE FIRES OF HELL!" The Zarthgon lead ship screeched. "ATTACK!"

Soon both alien armadas were having a full scale war in the living room. "Okay there are two alien fleets from another dimension having a war over Shane's silverware," Billy blinked.

"Charge!" Bubblehead cried out. Soon he and the Pweeps were attacking both ships."

"And now Bubblehead and the Pweeps are getting into it," Stingray blinked. He looked at Doc. "This is **normal?"**

"For us, yes…" Doc sighed as he turned on his communicator. "Hello Q-Ball? Guess what? The Zarthgons are back and this time they've got friends. Better bring the vacuum cleaner again. And some cinnamon donuts for the Pweeps."

"Don't forget the nachos!" Bubblehead chirped.

"I can't take this…" Shane moaned as he banged his head on the wall.


End file.
